You may be a Type 4
Fours are connected to the emotional tone of their surroundings and often use creative expression to process their emotions. They may be confused by their own melancholy when they are disconnected from their passion, and at other times feel enlivened by the beauty of their experiences.
Type 4 Overview
People are drawn to you because you deeply value and honor connections with people and the energy of the world. You have empathy and compassion with someone in pain. You are valuable in spaces that benefit from deep emotional intimacy, life grief. You can be a good listener and love taking a deep dive to get to know people or ideas. You are open to differences and slow to judge. You revel in creativity, beauty, and deep thinking. You are sensitive to energy and emotions and work to create beautiful spaces.
You experience distress because you can be easily overtaken by emotions and struggle to shift out of them. You can drop into melancholy more easily than others, sometimes losing awareness for how that state affects other areas of your life. You can be overly self-oriented and lose sight of relationships important to you. You may perceive yourself as someone that doesn’t belong or is excluded.
You can struggle with taking action and following through on plans, sometimes being flaky or indecisive. You are easily distracted by romantic ideas over less interesting realities. You can have an aversion to being figured out and prefer complexity over simplicity. At times, you behave in ways that can create/enhance painful emotions to avoid a sense of having no emotion. You tend to have thought patterns that create or exacerbate shame and hopelessness.
You are invaluable to society because you recognize and bring beauty into the world in ways no one else can. You love to witness others’ stories and create deep connections, making people feel loved. You think outside the box, push the edges of what’s possible, and thrive on creatively expressing your skillset. You highly value understanding, seeing others, and also being seen. When you are grounded in your confidence you bring a healing force to those struggling with deep emotion or vulnerable states.
You deeply value and honor connections with people and the energy of the world.
You can be easily overtaken by emotions and struggle to shift out of them.
You can struggle with taking action and following through on plans, sometimes being flaky or indecisive.
You recognize and bring beauty into the world in ways no one else can.
The Core of Type 4
What makes you a Type 4 is your core desires, motivations, fears, and goals. No two people are exactly the same, but all Type 4’s will have the following in common
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Core Desires
To be uniquely themselves, special, and authentic
To express themselves through emotion and creativity
To create and surround themselves with beauty
To be connected to people and the world
To be understood and accepted
To attend to others' emotions and uniqueness.
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Loving Messages
"You are seen and loved for exactly who you are - special and unique."
"I see who you are and I'm not scared away."
"The way you are tuned in to beauty is really inspiring."
"It's ok to express yourself in ways other people might not, like art or design."
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Natural Gifts
Building deep relationships
Acknowledging intense emotions and physical sensations
Seeking out beauty
Being curious about others
Encouraging courage and taking chances
Comforting others in sorrow
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Core Fears
Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant;
Not knowing themselves;
Not having significance in life
Being rejected for being themselves
Being "too much" or "too different."
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Blind Spot
Envy
Feeling that you're tragically flawed, that something foundational is missing inside you, and others possess qualities you lack
Overcoming these messages:
"You're too sensitive."
"You aren't focused on the right things."
"You can't trust others to be there for you."
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Triad Groups
Feeling - Center of Intelligence; emphasizes their feelings in order to manage shame and maintain their image
Withdrawing - attempts to meet personal needs by pulling away from relationships
Emotional Realness - channels disappointment or conflict into emotional engagement strategies
Frustration/Idealist - frustration when the world is not how it “should” be
Type 4 Support Types
Type 3 Wing (4w3)
Has an added focus on having a successful impact on the world. Engaging and practical, more likely to build a network. Less interested in dramatics and prefers to be impressive and look good. Behaviors can be less genuine and more performative, preferring to focus on the world instead their own state. Can struggle to navigate success without feeling melancholy and to accept their behavior affects their potential.
Type 2 traits in Stress/Challenge
Will appear more people-pleasing and may work to earn affection. May test relationship boundaries and seem insecure about their value with others, creating situations where they could be “reminded” that they are important to others. May also be more affectionate and generous and work to strengthen the boundaries they sometimes test.
Type 5 Wing (4w5)
Drawn to infuse their emotional experience with logic and can be experienced as more intense than other 4’s. More likely introverted and private, focused most often on their inner world and observing what goes on around them. Less likely to take things personally, less impulsive and more restrained.
Type 1 traits in Security/Growth
Engages the world with more objectivity and discipline, likely meeting goals with more ease and less emotional distress. Able to be more grounded and stay connected to their values.
How to try on Type 4
I suggest that you “try on” Type 4 and give yourself time to see how it fits you. Not every word and detail will be a perfect match, but it helps to see the traits come alive in your unique life.
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There is not a "best type"
It's common to read through the number types and think that one or two personalities sound like the best ones, but it's much less common for those to actually be your core type. Every number has its strengths and challenges and most often it feels like someone is reading your journal (how would they know that about me?) when you find your actual type!
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Understanding motivations vs excusing behavior
Each type has a set of core desires and fears that drive behaviors and perspectives. Each type also has its own spectrum of healthy, average, and unhealthy patterns. Using the Enneagram to excuse unhealthy patterns ("I'm a 4 so that's just how I am") will keep you stuck, whereas awareness and ownership of those same patterns can provide the skills we need to thrive in our roles and relationships.
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Don't just rely on a test to find your type
Enneagram tests are becoming highly accurate, but not all tests are created equal. Even the most reliable tests can be wrong because they are based on the test taker's level of self-awareness. Tests are a great starting place for narrowing down your type and trying on one or two to build the self-awareness to confirm the type. If tests aren't your thing, there are many podcasts or books that explain the types. Same rules apply.
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Understanding the connections between the numbers is key
One of the best parts of the Enneagram model is how dynamic it shows us we are and the ways in which our personality adapts to the situation. Every type has access to 4 other personality characteristics - 2 wing types (the numbers on either side of your type) and 2 other types, your Stress and Rest numbers. We can also understand our types more clearly by learning about unique groups of three types called Triads.
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The Enneagram is a tool, not a box
The power of the Enneagram exists in its ability to recognize who we are at our core - what we're most afraid of and what we most desire in life. It encourages us to use our strengths to thrive as well as uncover the (usually subconscious) barriers that keep us stuck and unhappy. You are wonderfully made and the world needs your healthiest self.
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Find a teacher or coach
There are many great ways to learn about the Enneagram types, but it can get oerwhelming quickly if you jump in alone. Getting a coach. counselor, or finding an Enneagram teacher to help guide you through the information is crucial. They can help you know the basic information but more importantly help you lean what your type looks like unique to you.
Ready to learn more?
Get the Type 4 Growth Guide
What’s Included:
Over 100 pages of tools I’ve used with my own clients, personalized for a Type 4
Roadblocks to growth
Self-care suggestions
The Quick Reference Guide for all Types (my favorite go-to)
A personalized workbook to build self-awareness and spark exploration